*Hugs*
Hun i'm so sorry you are going through this! You are not alone in your feelings, I'm going through something similar to you and I know how hard it is! The rational part of you obviously knows that you shouldn't SH but it's you're way of coping and it sounds as though the other part that is telling you to SH is strong. Is there anyone you can talk to about this or that can support you?
Take care!
I'm here if you need to chat.
|