*supportive hugs*
Well done for opening up here! It sounds as though you have been through a rough time in the past and you are also struggling now. It must be hard for you. How do you feel now after writing about it here? Did it help at all... You said that you don't think anyone would believe you if you told them you have SH'ed - well let me put it this way, people rarely make up that they SH, its not something people lie about - it is usually a sign that there is something more going on. What i'm saying is if you chose to tell someone (like your dr or psych) about this they would definitely believe you and endeavor to help and support you through it.
I wish you all the best and offer my support.
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