[I am a cat]

I know Ive been posting a lot lately and Im sorry for that.

Im just utterly messed up.

I just want to shut my eyes, and to eralise that all this was just a stupid long nightmare. But I cant. Because its not.

I cant deal with my moods at the moment.

For example my mum jsut moaned at me because apparently Im spending too much money....When actually Im not a couple of years ago maybe, but since I had my own flat I learnt how to manage my money...and now Im back with my parents they just keep accusing me off not being able to control myself..when actually I am...but nothing is up for discussion in my house, because what they say goes. So we just end up arguing most of the time. Now its left me in such a frustrating mood.

I cant deal with my anorexia anymore..I jsut..I know I have to..but I dont know how to anymore! I was thinknig about writing a letter to one of my nurses and jsut giving it to them about everything I am currently doing to myself but I dont know. Maybe I should jsut keep quiet and ****ing die!

Because thats how much I hate my life right now.

Im fat. why cant I jsut stop eating? I have to admit my weight is plummiting but seriously..I ate dinner yesterday!!

urgh Im such a heffer.

cant even ARGH

JUst ****ing die please!!