Laura, I really hope you choose to stay beyond the new year. You are such a wise person and make a huge contribution and support so many people that from a selfish point of view we would want you to stick around.
I've been at my TC today, really mixed day some of which was difficult. As always, my head is in a tizzy. I feel so flat and really want to get wasted. I made the decision when I went into the Co-Op when I got off the bus just before not to get any alcohol. I even bought some lovely looking sparkling elderflower drink as a substitute but now I wish I had bought something. I want to feel something other than ****. I even admitted today that last week's drinking was because I yearned for a bit of chaos to replace the mundane - I'm sick and twisted.
I know I shouldn't drink tonight but I'm not sure if it will stay like that. I suppose one thing against it is that it is pissing down out there.
I've made a week without cutting - didn't seem too hard not to though and probably just because I have been feeling too flat.
I've also decided, after talking to the group to register for an OU short course in archaeology - I can take it over 4 instead of 2 months so it would "just" require 5 hours of study a week. It will cost me £150 but I recently got a refund after not being able to complete a maths course earlier in the year due to hospital etc. The group reckon it would be a good idea to put something back into my life to help perhaps spark something.
Anyway, I didn't mean to rant quite that much but it feels better getting it out.
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