My housemate saw my arm by accident this morning and asked me to show him my arm again this afternoon. I had to tell him what I had done and agree to get rid of the blade so that there was less risk of it happening again. He told me not to reset my SI free count but to count it as a slip and told me that if I get that way (or something worse) to let him know or ring the crisis team. He said, quite truthfully, that he can't help me if I don't let him know what is wrong. He knows I've been unwell for a long time and that cutting is not a good sign and I think he suspects that there is something deeper going on. I think I'm going to tell him what I've been planning to do... but I don't think I'm going to like the response I get. I think it might be a one-way trip to the hospital.
On a lighter note my housemate and I went to a Buddhist meditation session for the second time tonight and we decided to sit on the floor in the meditation position (last week we sat at the back of the group on chairs). It was fairly easy for me because I'm quite flexible but my housemate struggled. He said that after 15 minutes of sitting like that he felt like someone was hitting his ankle with a crowbar. The session tonight was on breathing and I found it really helped calm down some of the emotions that I've been feeling. They aren't gone completely but they are less troublesome in a lot of ways. It was a pleasant experience.
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