thanks for the reply.
I cant literally scream as i have 3 neighbours, but ive been screaming silently if that makes sense, like literal screaming but without a noise. It helped a bit. Still feel like this timebomb tho.
Ive just spent an hour and a half with my social worker which was good. Been doing some positive thoughts work, and just trying to work out why ive suddenly felt like this. Didnt solve it, but its something we will be working on over the next 5 or 6 sessions i think. Shes new and i really like her. Cant fully open up but thats because ive only really known her a few weeks, other than when i saw her around uni. I coincidently have a psych appointment next week, so ill see what happens there if im still feeling low.
Although i still have the same constant feelings of not wanting to be alive (even when im 'ok' i get this) i really dont want to OD or anything as it causes a lot of people a lot of pain. Im trying to carry on as normal and its semi-successful, i just get bouts of 'im about to flip and do something stupid.
I feel a lot safer now than last night anyhow.
