Thread: REALLY???
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Old 02-11-2009, 04:44 PM   #1
Rain Keeper
flooded in a mental state of hell
 
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: between reality and the afterlife
I am currently:
REALLY???

Worried I might be getting better.
Worried I may like smiling more.
Worried I won’t need you.
Worried I am feeling better.
Worried I have more energy.
Worried I didn’t do it.
Worried I don’t want to do it.
Worried I am living in a make believe world.

Could this really be happening to me?
Could I really NOT want to harm today?
Could I really be looking forward to next year?
Could I really NOT have a date set to die?
Could I really have no fresh wounds in over a month?
Could it be the meds working?
Could it be she has helped me?
Could I really be making progress?

DO I WANT THIS TO BE ME?


Yes.

IS THIS ME?

Pinch me, yes.

Am I scared?

YES.

Scared of letting go.
Scared of my living.
Scared I don’t have a plan anymore.
Scared I will like school.
Scared of my scars.
Scared to be liked.
Scared to be known.

Anxious about life.
Anticipating life.
LIVING LIFE.

LIFE.

It is what I breathe.


Rain has come a long way



the flood is here and i can't keep the rain


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