I dont really know whats triggered it or why or anything tbh...it just kinda seems to have crept up on me out of nowhere...
i'm not really sure what i think about antidepressants...i'm scared that if i don't do something things are going to get worse so maybe going on them would be a good idea...but i'm also scared that once i'm on them i'd become dependent on them and not come off them for a long time...
i have spoken to both doctors and counsellors about how i'm feeling atm, and they've both kinda said that what happens next is my choice...kinda wish they'd just make a decision for me but i guess they want me to pick the course i think is best for myself...how i'm meant to work that out i don't know...
i know i'm not 100% back to square one in the sense that i'm more aware of the dangers this time...but it wasnt as if i wasnt aware first time round, i'd had friends who had self harmed and had come to me for help and support etc...and tbh i don't really know what my coping methods were so don't really know how to tap into them again...either that or i can't really pinpoint which ones worked and which didn't...
Thanks to a mate desiding they couldn't cope with being the only one at uni who knew and who i could turn to i now have a couple of other uni mates who know...and who luckily are decent enough people to understand whats going on and be there for me rather than being judgemental...so i'm in a slightly better position to deal with it than before...but i'm still scared...
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