|
What do I do now? (long)
I dont really know that many people here as i dont get to post much so sorry if I am intruding. I had 28 months of no cutting and I lost it Monday night. I have been having a rough time lately and I guess it just all culminated in a very bad episode. I went absolutely crazy with the cutting Monday night. I have cuts everywhere and most could have used stitches. I just dont know where to go from here. I had made it so long with out cutting and then the crap hit the fan. I just dont know how to pick up the pieces and start again. My councelor knows about it and I had to show them to her. she wanted me to go get stitches but I knew it was too late and here we dont have walk-in clinics and such that will just suture you and let you go. they call the police and commit you to a psych ward. Part of my problem has been that I am afraid to sleep. I have been having nightmares that are so real I cant get over them. I also had a dream that my councelor was leaving me. I didnt know it was dream and became quite mean with her. Poor soul had no idea why I was angry. anyway that is straightened up with her but I feel so guilty. I am in quite a bit of pain and since I am in uni I am having to cover up quite a bit. I dont know what temp you all have but it is 90 here and i am sweating my butt off. Sorry this was long I guess what i am asking is for some advice on getting back on track, forgiving myself for this, and maybe some support. i am feeling so upset over this.
|