You're competitive, that's not a bad thing
I'm sure you will find something that you can become better than everyone else at. As for the thinking of stopping eating when you feel bad about yourself, I think people often think that losing weight improves them overall as a person and it's like a coping strategy, 'if I'm thinner I'll be better etc' but it's not true.
I'm glad that you don't act on these urges anymore - that shows a lot of strength.