Seems like being physically settled seems a real challenge for you - when you're constantly on the move with no fixed place, there is less 'risk' of making lasting meaningful connections with people, and so less risk of disappointment or loss.
But you're experiencing loss anyway, it sounds like. I know that's a hard conflicted place to be in. You have people, and yet they seem to give up on you.
What would mean the most for you?
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