Hey im sorry that your feeling so low.
My life has been different to yours but i think i can relate at least a little of some of what you say though i will of course never know truly what it is really like for you.
i might be wrong and correct me if i am but it sounds like you are at a place where you feel you have lost a lot.
Perhaps you could start slowly slowly rebuilding things.
Not focusing on everything at once but just little little steps at a time.
Like maybe socialising more?
Or getting back more into sport if you used to enjoy that a lot?
Or even break it down more but just so perhaps you can feel like maybe things are improving and then in time you can get to where you want to be without it all being so much to focus on at once or so overwhelming.
Also i know you probably find it hard to let people in but do you have anyone you can talk to/who could support you through this if you could open upto them?
i wish i could say something more useful but know i have read and i hope it helped to write at least.
im sorry things feel so bad and i hope they improve for you.
We are here for you.Feel free to keep talking if it helps.
Take care.
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