Hi and welcome to ryl. Despite the stereotypes there are many of us that are way past being a teenager. I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time lately. Please seek some help. Counselling is a good place to start, not just for the rape but for SI in general.....Since I started going I've almost made it to 3 months without harming. You may not realise it but you son would be much better off if you were around so there's all the more reason to get help. As others have said, going to your doctor would be a good start too. You will find a lot of people here that will understand the sort of things you have been through and it's nice and friendly here.
Take care,
Nathan
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