Crying. People screaming. Totally alone. I'm spiralling away into it all. Taughting me because they know they can push everyone away and like it that way. With no one to care they can do their job freely. Its taking everything within me to stop them doing something to the body. Made a bargin to self injure a small amount and now they know they can beat me for sure. I'm giving in to them day by day. I wish everyone could see it makes so many of us better to be safe, that they don't have to do those things anymore, but their blind to me. In the depths at the moment. Overwhelming despair, punishment- its what they do after all. They're untouchable. Internal punishments are ripping us from the inside out. Alone. Scared. Exactly where they want me. They hold so much darkness
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