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Old 14-08-2009, 12:49 AM   #3
destroy-!!!-infinity
...blood from the air...
 
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: USA
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thanks for replying...i'm honestly not at the point where i can hate her, but i understand what you're saying...

i don't really understand her...her actions the past few days make me feel as if she's someone else...maybe she is...i just didn't think a person could change so quickly...i don't think she was showing me a false face,...maybe on some level...i just don't know.

part of me is also scared for her. she's an amazingly strong women, but it seems like she's suddenly out of control. she even told me part of the reason she needed to break up is that she needs to be able to "**** up" for awhile...maybe she just wants to be around other people, maybe she wants to do a **** ton of drugs and **** around..i just don't know...i'm so upset with her and hurt, but i'm also so worried about her. she's been my best friend for 2 years...and suddenly she's changing so fast. i've done things like that before, but it's usually due to my emotions being really messed up...so i guess i'm worried she's hurting from something...

and then...i feel like there's no point. maybe none of this meant anything. it hurts so much to think that.

i feel like i'm about to have a nervous breakdown...i've slept for 4 hours in the past 4 days...but i don't feel tired...i've had almost nothing to eat as well...everytime i try to eat something i feel like i'm choking.

and i know i still have to watch her move out...so i'm scared this is going to get so much worse before i can even start to try to piece things back together again...

i was so happy just 6 days ago...i can even remember the last time...it was kissing her goodbye..i told her i loved her and meant it..she said the same to me and smiled....i saw her 2 hours later and she was done with me...




my whole life has been. running with the wind. and playing with the cowards. it’s so hard to see. i’m fractured within. a poet in a window. we’re bastards and thieves. we’re lovers and saints. we’re holding on to mourning. and in the shadows i will be. until the sunlight melts away. until we tire of murder...fill me up with love...say goodbye when you leave. remember to breath. remember to listen. it’s getting harder to be. the son you want of me. the son i’ll never be.



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