The thing about this is that it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. It will never be deep enough, bleed enough or look like you want it too. But you'll still strive for perfection and that can be a very dangerous road to head down.
It won't ever be satisfying enough. There'll always be a need to go further andfurther and then suddenly, one day, it'll go horribly wrong.
I have been where you are now. And it's a cold, lonely and horrible place to be. I always wanted to go further with each cut. I nearly lost my arm but it still wasn't good enough for me. But one day it went wrong. And that was my wake up call. I realised that if i continued down this road of total self destruction, i would eventually accidently kill myself.
It's harsh, but it's the truth. Hunni, it will NEVER be enough. Even if you nearly die from it, it still won't be good enough. It is like a horrible voice in your head and you need to find a way of silencing it. Because it's gonna trick you, it's gonna cheat yoi into doing horrible damage to yourself.
I hope you'll manage to silence this voice and find a way to rest within yourself. You might think you're nothing without the cutting, but the truth is you are so many colours and you don't need the cutting to be yourself....
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