I think you should talk to someone about it. I know it's scary, but I think it will help. They're not going to tell you that there's nothing wrong with you. They're not going to tell you you're psychotic, either, unless there's a lot you're not telling us, and they're not going to lock you up unless you tell them you're planning to kill yourself soon, and already have a plan for how and when that you seriously intend to follow through with. My guess: they'll tell you that you have bipolar disorder. That euphoric "I can do anything" feeling you described sounds a lot like mania or hypomania, and I think that feeling low is pretty self-explanatory as depressive episodes. What you described isn't so weird that you have to keep it hidden, or that a doctor wouldn't be able to make any sense of it, both types of feelings you described are actually relatively common, as is cycling between them, and it really is okay to talk to someone about it, and ask for help.
As far as not knowing what to tell them, could you print out your post here and give it to them? What you said here is enough to start with, and after that they'll ask you questions to help you figure it out even if you don't know what to say - probably a lot of it will even be yes or no questions, like to you ever feel like this, do you do this, etc. that are easy to answer. It's okay not to know exactly how to explain it, just reaching out for help is enough to start with. It's okay if part of what you need help with is figuring out how you feel, or how to express how you're feeling.
|