My key support worker...? I'm seeing him in about 10 minutes, but if I tol dhim exactly how I felt, he'd get the crisis team onto me, I just know he would. I'm so fat and ugly and I don't deserve to eat, yeah it may not be much to people here, but it's too much for me.
I'm phoning up the MHT today because they're waiting to give me an assessment. I don't want to go for the assessment, what's the point? I want to be gone by tonight anyway. I just give up completely. I fight so, so f-cking hard and then someone goes and dumps a massive **** on me and now I'm panicking again and I'm sweating buckets again because of panicking and it's horrible. I hate anxiety. Why does everything have to be wrong with my stupid ****ed up head?!
I hate it. I hate me. I give up. I haven't given up in ages, but what's the point in fighting so hard anymore when something bigger just HAS to go wrong?!
