Thank you for taking time to reply- I really appreciate it.
I am supposed to go back to my doctor in a few weeks just for a kind of check up about things. I hate being on medication because I have to hide it from my mum, and I just hate the thought of having to rely on it.
The school counsellor is great, but obviously throughout the summer break I can't talk to her, I will be seeing her again in september though.
I have close friends who know about this but they don't really understand it, I find it really difficult to speak face to face so its usually through a text, but I just don't know what to say.I want to say I'm feeling really down, lower than I think I've ever felt before and I just don't know what to do about it. I've got adult friends who are alot older than me who always say if I need to talk I can but what if I text them and they don't know what to say or how to reply, I'd hate to put them in that position.
I have been trying for five years now to 'help myself'. I have tried writing, painting, poetry, other hobbies, exercise (which is restricted due to my back problem) and loads of other things, I'm just starting to feel like I'm in a total rut. I have a blog which I use to vent things out but right now I just don't have the energy or emotional strength to do that. It took everything I had to write that first post, I had to try so hard not to cry.
There is absolutely no way what so ever I can talk to my mum, I have spoken to many people about this, friends, teachers, pastoral support and my counsellor. It's a really complex issue that just wouldn't work.
I am trying to enjoy the summer but the weather is crap which doesn't really help either, I haven't been diagnosed with S.A.D but whenever the weather is **** so am I.
I used to have massage but I can no longer have them because of the chiropractic treatment, it's so hard to gather up the energy to want to do anything for myself because I'm just feeling so drained.
Thanks again for replying.
xxx
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