Sweetie, you're not a freak. I should imagine a lot of us feel the same way. I've never been able to throw away blades or tools because it was a safety net for me- I felt more dangerous not having the option to be able to hurt myself. Thing is, while it may seem like being in control, it's a bit of a paradox really. What you feel as control really is more of a lack of control. Is there any way you can try to distract yourself from the panic of not having your tools around?
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