[bleedingdragon]

Dont get me started ,
sorry for following description its only my description,

i feel its deep inside me, my dark part i can not escape from yet,
attached to me like my shadow, by my trauma and part of the depression
just check out my artwork on creative corner
alot of my artwork is too triggery to show

In some its a black cloud of depression and trauma an extension of my shadow of my dark part of me inside myself, , and the dark part of me threatening to smother me at times , holding me back , playing a game with me. with red eyes that are my trauma burning deep inside me.
like an eternal fire. engulfing me,
and it can sink in on me and weigh me down enclosing me in its embrace.

its also like a big black namless shape changing ancient beast that hunts me, by scent, which is my trauma and its allways close by or in the shadows waiting to attack, Its a dark part of me inside too, that hunts me in there, i fight it often, but it keeps changing and coming back.
I also fight myself too to escape, aswell as my depression/trauma


just enough to screw me up. Like its been passed onto me by my ex, like my shadow, you cant escape your shadow.

you can escape your shadow normally only when your in darkness i guess everythings dark then, you cant see it,
but i feel its still there in the darkness to.

daylight brings it out, except until i heal my trauma enough it will allways be in the daylight with me too.

its depression and trauma rolled into one hell of a knightmare, it has my scent and can pull me down and overpower me, or hold
me back and give me the feeling its close by but i cant see it its waiting for the next attack.

its an ancient army of shapechanging creatures that no matter how much you destroy them re appear
because they are now a dark part of me, one after the other, a never ending army, i become exhasted fighting them for control.
they never fully defeat me for they thrive on my terror, loss, pain, suffering, hatred, and gain strength from my battle and my struggle, making me feel like i would rather go mad instead loosing my mind, and somehow escape them.

like I wish i could give it back to my ex and my bully, but its too late, i have to destroy it, or learn to dilute it enough to live with it.
but how do you rip out something so horrible thats become a part of you,

i once had it figurativly round its neck, scared to let it go, till it broke loose.

enough of that sorry