So since i lost my job (or should that be since they decided i'd resigned when i blatantly hadn't) i've had no money. Am still signed off sick and not fit to work mainly cos of my depression (possibly also cos of the BPD). I know all i need to do is just fill in the sodding forms and apply for benefits, but no matter how much i try and force myself to, i can't.
I don't feel worthy of the help. I've been put off applying for DLA cos the Psych i saw old me "its normally for people with more serious problems than you". And i can't bring myself to fill in all th other forms, especially ESA as they are going to want bank statement and old pay slips and due my old work ****ing me over (and my previous application being "lost") i don't have these things.
I feel like i'm not ill enough to deserve help. But i don't get how ill i have to be before they will help me. Even when i was actively suicidal and OD i apparently wasn't that ill. I can't face applying for help right now cos im finding it too overwhelming
Every time i try to fill forms it it just makes me feel like **** and the urge to SI gets worse.
I would try going to the jobcenter but i've heard bad things and CAB were useless when i went to see them. if i leave this much longer i wont be able to even keep a roof over my head but i'm finding this really hard to cope with.
has anyone else been in the same situation? what did you do?
help,