It seems like you've done everything you can, and it's just not enough for you to feel "ok" again. It makes sense that you would want better treatment options. There's nothing to be ashamed of, because you simply need more help than what you've been getting. I know it's hard, but keep fighting the urges with distractions or whatever works for you. Even if you do end up cutting, keep trying to reduce/stop/delay it.
How'd your therapy appointment go?
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