Hey - just a couple of thoughts. I agree that it is important to try and communicate w/ your mom and let her know how you feel. But when you do just remember that we can't force others to change. Hopefully she would respond well to your advise, but it sounds like you've already tried to let her know what you're seeing and she hasn't wanted to hear it. All I know is if she is still not responsive, then keep in mind you have done your part by sharing your concerns. I'm not saying give up on her, just be aware that we can't change other people. We can only change the things within our control. I think if it is hard for you to be around her and you want to be there for your dad (which supports her, too), maybe see if your dad is willing to meet you elsewhere - a park, diner, museum or something so you guys can talk and give him a chance to unwind.
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