Honestly, I have absolutly no experiance with any of this stuff, so i dont know how much help i'll be, but i'll try.
First of all, you need to find the right counseler, someone you trust. it may be hard to find the right one, but you need to, and you need to tell them absolutely everything. they're trained for that, they know what to do, they know how to help you. I know its so, so scary, but I know you can do it.
And second of all, you are NOT crazy. you're sick, but you arent crazy. it isn't your fault your feeling like this, any more than its someones fault that they have diabetes or cancer. you have an illness, and you need help to get better. but you are not crazy, i promise.
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