Oh darling *cuddles* this is a blow that you just didn't need. My heart goes out to you and your family. I understand the "i spoke to her just last week thing" my nan died very suddenly of silent ischemia (sp?) which is a clot in the brain thing. And my aunt spoke to her that morning. But it just... makes it less real doesn't it! *cuddles* i can't tell you how to deal with this but I think that you WILL get throught his.
I think you have come a very long way and that you can move throught his with out harming yoruself. Cry, write letters, even just zone out in front of the television. Grief can come in very different forms. You don't needto harm yourself to make it okay. *cuddles you tightly* i'm here if you need me!
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