I agree with everything that's been said already.
harming that area is a lot more common than you'd think... though I have to say, it's a very sensitive area, very easy to damage, so if possible please try to resist the urge to do it there (I know that's easier said than done)
the way you reacted to sex is fairly normal for someone who's been through anyform of sexual abuse or rape... that area has been viloated before, and part of your mind is bound to now associate that act with the violation... it will take time, but slowly your mind will stop connecting the 2, and sex will become just sex again. untill then though, you need to try to take it slowly, and talk to people, making sure you trust a person before sex occurs and making sure that they undestand at least some of your difficulties around the area
|