i think you will, i really do. you've come through a lot - getting yourself out of hospital, and pulling yourself through really distressing situations - those are really hard but you did them. i think if you really really want this, you can do it.
but maybe you've got to be realistic and say, well i'm never going to be fully 100% symptom free - and there will always be difficulties. But overall i am not going to let it stop me living my life to the full and achieving everything i want to. maybe in a way, still having some symptoms will make you stronger and more determined - or give you an incite into some things other people may not have?
sorry if i'm not much help, i know when you feel hopeless there's not a lot anyone can say. but you know what you want, so do not stop going for it, wake up every day thinking what your going to do to get where you want to be and hopefully every day you'll get closer.
i hope you can get some rest. Whats stopping you sleeping? is your mind just too active?
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