Well, I do have a good support system. I'm in Alcoholics Anonymous, I go to meetings daily, and I have a sponsor. It's just tough when I'm home alone and nobody is around.
My sponsor says that my mind is a bad neighborhood; I should never go there alone. I get to thinking and that just makes me sicker in my head if I don't get it out, so here I am venting and rambling on.
I just want to ****ing drink. I resent my cousin because she is getting away with what I can't. I know it's a pointless resentment, but nevertheless there it is.
The alcohol in my house is a simple bottle of wine and the only place we can put it is in the refrigerator because all the cupboards and stuff are packed. And, if I asked my grandmother to put it somewhere, then she will start to doubt my ability to stay home alone, etc. I'm turning sixteen next month and I want my damn independence. It's just tough.
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