[Kija]

i dont know if this will help any but someone told me this once, he used to struggle a lot, i know he moved over from bangladesh, and had bipolar. really nice man! anyways this is what he told me, his "code" that he lives by every day!
5 practises for a fullfilling life:
1 - mindfullness
2 - gratitude
3 - optimism
4 - compassion
5 - constructivness

he also explained them all to me, but i cant remember, i know trying to achieve the compassion and mindfullness towards yourself and others, can make you constructive and therefore make you more optomistic i think. and its always good to be gratefull for what you have.
he also reccomended a book "learned optimism" by dr martin seligman. i havent read it yet, but this man inspired me, he managed to find a way to live with bipolar, withouth meds (they didnt work for him)
as for not knowing what you want in life, i have no clue. i just lost the one thing i 100% wanted. and now am lost, but instead of wanting to do nothing, i want to do too much. i could settle down with me boyfriend happily, or do a creative metal work course, or ODP training and/or travel! so things do get better, just hang in there please.
i think what i've written is really annoying. sorry!
xxx