Damaged...

how can i believe that im "good" at things when i have a dad that turns round and says that SA and rape victums shouldnt have got themselves into that situation.... which just reinforces the fact it was my fault and that i am to blame for what happened which means i dont deserve help. how can i possible deserve help???i dont get it. i mean i shouldnt have gone to *names* house, we'd only known each other just other a week but me being my stupid self went anyway.... and then i went into his bedroom i mean honestly how stupid is that.... i deserved it i got what i deserved.... i even had a chance to leave because he got called away by his sister but no i stayed.... it was my fault!!!!!!!!!
and then with my ex... i went to his house i went to his bedroom and i fell asleep ... i shouldnt have done that i shouldnt have..... if i hadnt have fallen asleep he wouldnt have raped me and then i fell asleep again the only difference is i woke up the second time. i felt it the first time but i just thought it was a dream so i didnt wake myself up. it was my fault.... MY FAULT