[pea soup]

i havent done cocaine in almost 8 months. ive had urges on and off.
but today had to be the worst.
ive been really low on money so my grandma western unioned me a little cash.
i went to pick it up and as i was leaving, i realized the last time i picked up a western union i was on the phone with my dealer the next minute. it was almost like a flashback. i had an awful craving and got really scared. cocaine controlled my life for a long time and i am so grateful to finally be out of the grips of it.
i came home immediately and cleaned the house from top to bottom. i did anything to keep me busy. the intensity has passed but its still in the back of my mind. i just really needed to get that out.
thanks for listening.
love to all.
xx