Just to clarify hun..... it's just something that you thought about when you were younger, and not something that you've actually carried out?
When you're being abused from such a young age, you don't know any different as abuse is all you know and all you're used to. You're bound to think it's ok, especially if that's what your abuser was always telling you. But as you've got older, you obviously understand that it wasn't normal, and it certainly wasn't ok. What I'm trying to get at is that thinking about doing those things to your own children when you get older was 'normal' for a child in your situation.... it was all you knew. However, now you have got older, you know that you can't do it, and that you don't want it to happen. You are therefore nothing like an abuser, and you certainly shouldn't tar yourself with the same brush as your own abusers.
Have you ever spoken to anyone about your own abuse? Maybe that could be a good idea?
Take care
*hugs*
Chrissy
xxx
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