It's the tone, the fact it sounds very distant, uncaring, not interested the the persons problems. It makes it sound like they should just get over it, and their problems aren't real or as serious as other peoples problems. It isn't very helpful, it just tells them to fix the problem without actually giving them any ideas as to how to fix it.
I'm reading what you are saying. The issue lies in the fact that if you turn off the receiver with your very first communication, nothing you say is going to get through. It's not about offending them, it's about turning them off so they don't listen at all. There is a difference between being offended and just not listening.
There is a happy medium between the two extremes. Yes if you are too warm and fuzzy you are probably never going to help the person, but if you are too hard and cold you aren't going to help them either.
It's much easier to have an impact if you start with warm and fuzzy and move towards the middle rather than starting at hard and cold and move towards the middle.
You are also missing the point that the receiver is the one interpreting your attitude. You may not think you are being rude, but your tone is very rude and condescending. You have to look at how you are sending the message from their point of view, not yours.
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