RYL Forums - View Single Post

Le Almighty Kitten · 18-02-2009, 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GlitterGirl

Thanks for all the responses.
It's me who take the children to any appointments so there's really nothing I can do there regarding mentioning on front of the Health Visitor for the mother's benefit. The family moved in July and as of yet haven't seen the Health Visitor in their new area but today I asked her to phone about baby's jabs and she did and they mentioned how it's been a long since either saw a Health Visitor so she is coming out next Wednesday to see the babies!

Yes both babies have very hard poos. They have to strain to get them out and it makes them scream in pain and break out in a sweat. The youngest started pushing at about 10am this morning and it wasn't until 5pm that he managed to get his poo out. I feed the 2 year old as much fruit as possible and she likes it but the 1 year old won't eat much. I believe it's because the mother delayed moving him onto solids and semi-solids. She waited until he was 7 months before introducing food to him and she has him on stage 2 food at the moment. She did buy stage 3 this month for him to start but after a week asked me not to give him them anymore and put him back on stage 2 as she thought he was struggling with the bigger pieces. It's my understanding he should be on stage 4 now though...??

Yes both are still using bottles. I'm aware that the 2 year old shouldn't be having her milk from bottles but didn't know the younger one should also be onto beakers for his milk. I'm now hoping that I can get this info from the Health Visitor so I can pass it on the mum and now it won't seem like I'm looking up things behind her back!
The mum doesn't give it all at once. I know the 2 year old gets a bottle in the evening before bed to sit on the settee with and then another when she actually goes to bed. She then wakes up during the night and crys for more, which e mother goes in and gives her.
The younger baby gets a couple of bottles in one go. And then wakes up in the night and they give him a bottle to stop him crying. The mum says he wakes up at 3.30am every night without fail and then again at 6am. And she just gives him milk to go back to sleep. I don't know why they wake up during the night but she seems to have taken it as normal even at the age the babies are now. She doesn't question something is wrong but says she's really tired and wishes they would sleep through.

They seemed fine when I brought it up in a jokey way. Like yesterday there was 11 bottles by the sink waiting to be washed and I said wow was that just from last night, that's a lot isn't it. And the mum just laughed and said yep I'm afraid so, just last nights.
I've told them both a number of times that I don't think the 2 year old girl even wants the milk all the time and that she's got to the point now where she's just using it as a soother because she's never had a dummy. And they said yeah you're probably right and left it at that.

There are more issues than the milk but the other things I don't believe are my place to say. Like for instance they rarely bathe their babies. I'm talking maybe once a week or less. I do it when I can but it's not in my job description and I've never been asked to do it so I sometimes feel awkward when they come home in the evening to find the children bathed and in their night clothes because their usual response is something along the lines of.....Oh, you bathed them. You didn't need to do that. Thanks though.
Potty training is the other thing. I started it when the girl was 18 months. I asked the mother to purchase a potty which she did and began training and was getting on well until the parents got lazy and stopped doing their part in the evenings and weekends. The girl now refuses to use her potty and when I try to place her on it she screams as if she's really scared. Any tips for this?? Also can it work if she's only potty training between the hours of 9am and 6pm?

Woah, long post sorry

x

Seven months isn't delayed weaning, ideally, weaning shouldn't be done until 6 months, and even then it's complementary to milk until 12 months. If their constipation is that bad, they need to be taken to a doctor. Water is also good, fibre helps, but so does fluids. With the younger one, they're old enough that they shouldn't really be eating jars, you may have success using baby led weaning techniques; basically giving things they can hold and feed themselves. Introducing cutlery and funky plates/bowls is also a good way to encourage eating.

Two year olds using bottles isn't unusual, it's ideal that they stop at age one though. Beakers can be introduced from four months, so whilst it's normal for toddlers still to use bottles, it's also normal for them to be at least using beakers for meal times. You definitely need to speak to a health visitor. Out of interest, great book to read is Toddler Taming :)

A one year old still wanting milk during the night isn't off the wall, but unless they have special needs of some sort, they can manage without normally. To be getting through 11 bottles though is frightening and constipation is the least of their worries.

Bathing doesn't have to happen every night, it's common for parents to bathe every two or three days. Do you think the children are suffering as a result? Is their skin bad from not being cleaned?

I'm surprised you started potty training so early, the expected age is anywhere between age two and three usually. Potty training does have to be an all or nothing activity. Leaving the potty for a while could help, read up and see that the little one is happy to be going to the toilet anyway (that's a point, you can go straight to the toilet with a toddler seat).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raven

i could go speak to a housing officer but im not sure of how much they can help as i am privately renting. and i have just taken on a 12 month lease. i googled the discretionary fund but edinburgh doesnt appear to have one either??? lots of other places like glasgow came up but no edinburgh, and when i searched the council website i couldnt find anything.
i am getting my child tax and working tax credits yeah. i have had a look at my expenditure and its just about viable. going by jamies income and my tax credits, once we have paid all of our bills etc, we will have £40 left over a week. that will be to feed us all, clothe freyja, and put nappies on her bum. just seems so unfair. especially given she goes through a tub of formula a week, at around £8.

They should help you regardless of how you're renting, we're privately renting too but they still help. Go in and talk to someone, find out exactly where you stand. It doesn't help immensely, but have you thought about cloth nappies? There is an initial cost (which councils can contribute towards) but after that it'd just the cost of an extra few washes a week. Go and speak to someone at the council, explain your situation, they should listen.

18-02-2009, 11:17 PM	#2224
Le Almighty Kitten Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Scotland	Quote: Originally Posted by GlitterGirl Thanks for all the responses. It's me who take the children to any appointments so there's really nothing I can do there regarding mentioning on front of the Health Visitor for the mother's benefit. The family moved in July and as of yet haven't seen the Health Visitor in their new area but today I asked her to phone about baby's jabs and she did and they mentioned how it's been a long since either saw a Health Visitor so she is coming out next Wednesday to see the babies! Yes both babies have very hard poos. They have to strain to get them out and it makes them scream in pain and break out in a sweat. The youngest started pushing at about 10am this morning and it wasn't until 5pm that he managed to get his poo out. I feed the 2 year old as much fruit as possible and she likes it but the 1 year old won't eat much. I believe it's because the mother delayed moving him onto solids and semi-solids. She waited until he was 7 months before introducing food to him and she has him on stage 2 food at the moment. She did buy stage 3 this month for him to start but after a week asked me not to give him them anymore and put him back on stage 2 as she thought he was struggling with the bigger pieces. It's my understanding he should be on stage 4 now though...?? Yes both are still using bottles. I'm aware that the 2 year old shouldn't be having her milk from bottles but didn't know the younger one should also be onto beakers for his milk. I'm now hoping that I can get this info from the Health Visitor so I can pass it on the mum and now it won't seem like I'm looking up things behind her back! The mum doesn't give it all at once. I know the 2 year old gets a bottle in the evening before bed to sit on the settee with and then another when she actually goes to bed. She then wakes up during the night and crys for more, which e mother goes in and gives her. The younger baby gets a couple of bottles in one go. And then wakes up in the night and they give him a bottle to stop him crying. The mum says he wakes up at 3.30am every night without fail and then again at 6am. And she just gives him milk to go back to sleep. I don't know why they wake up during the night but she seems to have taken it as normal even at the age the babies are now. She doesn't question something is wrong but says she's really tired and wishes they would sleep through. They seemed fine when I brought it up in a jokey way. Like yesterday there was 11 bottles by the sink waiting to be washed and I said wow was that just from last night, that's a lot isn't it. And the mum just laughed and said yep I'm afraid so, just last nights. I've told them both a number of times that I don't think the 2 year old girl even wants the milk all the time and that she's got to the point now where she's just using it as a soother because she's never had a dummy. And they said yeah you're probably right and left it at that. There are more issues than the milk but the other things I don't believe are my place to say. Like for instance they rarely bathe their babies. I'm talking maybe once a week or less. I do it when I can but it's not in my job description and I've never been asked to do it so I sometimes feel awkward when they come home in the evening to find the children bathed and in their night clothes because their usual response is something along the lines of.....Oh, you bathed them. You didn't need to do that. Thanks though. Potty training is the other thing. I started it when the girl was 18 months. I asked the mother to purchase a potty which she did and began training and was getting on well until the parents got lazy and stopped doing their part in the evenings and weekends. The girl now refuses to use her potty and when I try to place her on it she screams as if she's really scared. Any tips for this?? Also can it work if she's only potty training between the hours of 9am and 6pm? Woah, long post sorry x Seven months isn't delayed weaning, ideally, weaning shouldn't be done until 6 months, and even then it's complementary to milk until 12 months. If their constipation is that bad, they need to be taken to a doctor. Water is also good, fibre helps, but so does fluids. With the younger one, they're old enough that they shouldn't really be eating jars, you may have success using baby led weaning techniques; basically giving things they can hold and feed themselves. Introducing cutlery and funky plates/bowls is also a good way to encourage eating. Two year olds using bottles isn't unusual, it's ideal that they stop at age one though. Beakers can be introduced from four months, so whilst it's normal for toddlers still to use bottles, it's also normal for them to be at least using beakers for meal times. You definitely need to speak to a health visitor. Out of interest, great book to read is Toddler Taming :) A one year old still wanting milk during the night isn't off the wall, but unless they have special needs of some sort, they can manage without normally. To be getting through 11 bottles though is frightening and constipation is the least of their worries. Bathing doesn't have to happen every night, it's common for parents to bathe every two or three days. Do you think the children are suffering as a result? Is their skin bad from not being cleaned? I'm surprised you started potty training so early, the expected age is anywhere between age two and three usually. Potty training does have to be an all or nothing activity. Leaving the potty for a while could help, read up and see that the little one is happy to be going to the toilet anyway (that's a point, you can go straight to the toilet with a toddler seat). Quote: Originally Posted by Raven i could go speak to a housing officer but im not sure of how much they can help as i am privately renting. and i have just taken on a 12 month lease. i googled the discretionary fund but edinburgh doesnt appear to have one either??? lots of other places like glasgow came up but no edinburgh, and when i searched the council website i couldnt find anything. i am getting my child tax and working tax credits yeah. i have had a look at my expenditure and its just about viable. going by jamies income and my tax credits, once we have paid all of our bills etc, we will have £40 left over a week. that will be to feed us all, clothe freyja, and put nappies on her bum. just seems so unfair. especially given she goes through a tub of formula a week, at around £8. They should help you regardless of how you're renting, we're privately renting too but they still help. Go in and talk to someone, find out exactly where you stand. It doesn't help immensely, but have you thought about cloth nappies? There is an initial cost (which councils can contribute towards) but after that it'd just the cost of an extra few washes a week. Go and speak to someone at the council, explain your situation, they should listen.
Le Almighty Kitten Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Scotland	18.11 28.4 6.5 22.31 My heart just needs his smile, that i can't forget, like so melancholy a kiss.