Rowie I'm sorry things are so difficult but please call the crisis team if you need to, I've learnt that they can actually help and they would much rather talk to you before you do something than have to deal with it afterwards.
Keep focussing on the positives however hard it gets and don't beat yourself up about it if you need to take a break from work to get yourself well again.
Remember we're all here
*hugs*
Xxx
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