Oks... I found this article. Its long but seems to have some useful information in it.
http://209.85.135.104/search?q=cache... nk&cd=7&gl=uk
And this is from Mind
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/B...y+disorder.htm
I have BPD traits, as you know, Mari. However I am in long term intensive private psychotherapy, and so have never needed hospital admission, because I have a safe available support structure in place, as well as my main traits being the abandonment fears and dissociation, rather than acting on suicidal feelings and thoughts.
Of course, if you really feel it would benefit you, which it may well do, as you don't have a strong face-to-face support network [you have online support, but when in a crisis having someone with you physically can be really important.] then there is always the option of going private, but I do realise that's not an ideal or even possible option for you.
The main focus of your treatment, as I see it, needs to be learning ways to manage your feelings safely, and learning to trust yourself in managing these. You are doing well, but may well need some additional support in this direction.