you know? you ppl are the best!! you really are. Thank you so much for the hugs and support. It means a great deal to me. Sometimes it IS a relief to feel nothing, but not right now. When i went off the benzos i was amazed at how much i felt, it showed me how numb they made me. But somewhere i lost the ability to feel anything...
Now my dad is in hosp. again; he had a stroke. It seems to have been a mild one. But i just heard form mom a few minutes ago and he is being moved to the bigger hospital. He has a blockage in the neck which caused the stroke and i dont really know what they will do to fix it. I dont know if they do something like the angioplasty that he had for his heart or what??
I thought i wasnt depressed but i woke uou this morning headachy and lost, it has landed on me hard all of the sudden.
I want to harm or OD.
I've done ok with the drinking; one drink last night and then didnt want another! YAY me i guess.
But right now i want to get my hands on some blow so bad.
Its been almost 2 years i think.
The early retirement....yeah, youre right jadie, i DO need to somehow come to terms with it. IF i get it, i dont even know for certain just yet. But my doc says i will.
Hmmm....
Anyways, thank you all for replying. It really helps to know im not alone!
And thanks for our fun chat today jadie, that helped more than i can say. You made me smile and laugh for a while :o)
Love you guys
romp
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