i'm so sorry this is such a bad time for you.
just a couple of thoughts, just ignore them if i'm totally off the mark.
does your wife want to act/treat you the way she does that 1% of the time? because what you grow up around is very hard not to repeat. with my growing up, my mom did everything, my dad was hardly ever there and did nothing at all when he was. in my relationships i acted like my mom, did everything let my now ex's do nothing, just lounge around. i also let myself be walked all over by them. i'm now with someone new, and disagrees with the way i used to be, he now has to remind me when i start acting like a slave. maybe just talk to her, and see if she just needs reminding every once in a while.
i know with my cousin, and her kids, once in a while, she just needs someone to say to her to relax, and let up on them. as she starts repeating how she was brought up, despite not wanting to repeat it.
sorry i just kind of gave examples of one idea.
if they're totally wrong and horrible just ignore them.
i hope that things get better for you, i totally respect your commitment to your marraige, you dont hear that very often these days.
keep letting it out, i agree with tears of solitude thats its probably just fustration not hate.
awful in laws, i cant imagine, must be so hard. sorry that they are all so nasty.
xxx
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