[white_silent_darkness]

I feel..... I feel.... Well I don't know how I feel!

I'm so confused right now

I just don't know what to do

I'm still carrying on each day living my life - Going college Smiling Keeping up the pretence Getting on with my work

There are moments when I just want to burst into tears

Sometimes I have moments of anger - Its a different sort of anger though - Comes from deep with in - Usually about my *** when been drinking.... and my *** when they are cocky gits! I just want to shout at them and tell them what they have done to me!

I just don't know what to do

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I keep reliving what happened to me, but its not just a picture. I'm actually there. I can feel them touching me. I can feel the pain!

It happens at all sorts of times... I hate in when it happens in college or when I'm with my friends! Not that they know whats happening because I tend to freeze - I then either carry on if they don't ask or when they do make up some excuse!