The past few days here and the things I have witnessed have convinced me that the only reason I am still here is because the horrible things I am seeing and hearing are making me ill.
I'm on a low security mental health unit.
Apparantly the people here aren't supposed to be that seriously mentlly ill.
Thats a total joke. A TOTAL f*cking joke.
Yesterday some guy(I've never spoken to) flipped out and started screaming repatedly in my face;F*CK OFF! just totally out of the blue, he then started smashing everything around him up and about 8 staff from on the ward and off had to restrain him in front of me and drag him back to his room
he was screaming the whole time and the alarms where going off.
In the evening a woman in the next bed to me spent the whole night trying to strangle herself, I had to repeatedly go to the staff to tell them she was doing it, again more screaming and alarms going off
Also a girl spent the whole night trying to break down the door and escape, more alarms more screaming and crying.
I think the final straw has come this morning.
I was sitting there calmly talking to one of the nursing assistants (who I quite like) when this really quiet new patient sitting next to me just jumps up and starts battering the nursing assistant and screaming at the top of her voice. Just totally without warning she flipped.
I don't think I have ever felt so scared in my entire life.
She just totally flipped and started whacking her everywhere.
I had to shout for help.
I'm sitting here now feeling really shaken up
I'm now terrified that this woman is going to attack me like she did with the nursing assistant.
The thing is everytime something like this happens, it sets off the voices really
really bad and then before you know it they are screaming at me to hurt myself, which I usually end up doing.
I then end up in trouble, getting my leave cancelled, my stuff taken off me ect ect
Everytime something stressful happens on the ward I totally flip and spend the whole night trying to hurt myself.
Because I keep self harming on the ward my pych isn't keen to discharge me (I'm on a section) so I'm stuck in this cycle of being here which is making me ill.
But it's a f*cking joke! No way is this a theraputic enviroment
I'm scared out of my wits that someone is going to attack me
and after what I've seen today can you blame me?
Really want to SI
Surely these patients should be on a secure unit or something?