I get like that. I don't know. I wasn't 'really' self harming when I was 18 but I look like I'm abot 14 so am always getting IDd for everything except for when I go food shopping and buy something where I have to be over 16/18 so I'm like then well I may aswell get x y and z now as it saves the embarrassment of getting IDd because they REALLY don't believe me and sit there checking every little bit of my ID.
The main thing is to take control. It doesn't stop the urges but if you take control and say right, I'm going to try not to do it and don't for a while then it makes you feel stronger and stronger and then after a while you feel you don't need it as much but it does take time and it doesn't mean you don't do it at all, just less to begin with.
What I found was if I told myself there was no way I could do it I got worse urges. I constantly thought about it and I got more stressed. So then I relaxed a bit and told myself that if I really need it then I can and I have found that that has helped. If I'm going anywhere where I'm staying the night I take my 'tools' even if I don't think I'll use them because it's the knowing that they're there if I need it and that I always have that choice makes it easier for me.
I'm now 6months free & I've gone on a rough road to get this far and I am still getting urges everyday but I have reasons not to do it. Reasons I remind myself of and that one of my friends has pretty much worked out so she reminds me of them if I ever text her when I'm real bad. Now I actively don't want to hurt myself (even though I still need the security of havingthe 'choice' to do it) at all and my view on it has totally changed and I know that it could have big implications for me personally if I get back into it but I definately found finding personal reasons not to do it often helps you to stay more focussed, especially in the early stages.
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