[ur_awful_iloveyou]

Alright, Sorry for the wait.
it takes me awhile to finish my chapters.
&+ as well, alot has been going on.
Be Safe &+ Enjoy.
= ]

Chapter Ten -

I spent the night outside, just wandering around. I didn’t want to go home, I just wanted to be alone.

why is it at the worst times I never want to talk to someone, I want to be alone. Maybe it’s the fact that I was alone most of my life, the occasional lead on followed by a years worth of abuse in one night.

Around 4:30 a.m. I finally got back to the house, not even bothering to go through my window. I had figured they all knew where I was. I walked in, sneaking upstairs as quickly and quietly as I could. I was freezing and now I actually wanted to get some sleep. Walking into my room, I seen Rachael laying on my bed going through my journal.
“Uhm, Rach?” I paused. “What’re you doing?”
“oh my god, I’m so sorry.” she quickly closed my journal.

Wow, a invasion of personal space… I never thought anyone would dare look into my journal; I had far more secrets in there than I could remember. But for some reason, I wanted her to read it. I had always wanted her to, but I didn’t know how to let her in.

“No, continue reading… it‘ll be easier for me rather than explaining it all” I smiled.
“Are you sure?” she questioned. “I mean, I shouldn‘t have been reading it, it‘s your personal book.”
“Just keep reading; I am going to take a shower, so I’ll be back soon.”
She looked back in, almost as if she was sucked into the book. I got my clothes and set my shower up, just thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong with this situation. I didn’t know what made me trust Rachael more than as kids… but there was just something that I couldn’t explain, almost like a feeling of relief. I took my time in the shower giving Rachael as much time, as I could, to get through most of my journal. I was in for about an hour, until my water started to run cold; I got out and dried off slowly and then put on my clothes. I stood looking in the mirror for what seemed like hours, and I must say I had to have been looking in the mirror for a good ten minutes; and then I heard a crash from my room. I darted out of the bathroom and headed over to the bed where Rachael was, there was a big rock sitting on my bed.
“What Just Happened?” I asked quickly.
“I have know idea, I was just sitting her reading your journal” she stopped crawling over to the window, there was someone standing out there but it was far too dark to see who it was. As soon as they noticed that we were looking out the window, they scurried away quickly.
“What the hell was that?”
“I have know idea, but that’s kind of weird.”
“Yeah, It definitely is.”
“Meg, I never would have thought that had happened to you…” she stopped.
“Yeah, know one ever has.”
“is that why you didn’t come to school for like 3 months that one year?”
I was quiet.

“Honey, Dinner is done.”
“Alright Mommy, I’ll be right there.”
“Oh, Before you go down there; I want you to look at something.”
Walking over to the stairs I waited for daddy to show me, and next thing you know I was thrust down the stairs; tears falling from my eyes before I even fell.
“Aw, sweetie. You should be more careful coming down the stairs.”
“But mommy, daddy pushed me.”
I couldn’t move, it hurt too bad; “oh, you liar! Don’t ever accuse your father of such a horrible thing! You know what happens to bad girls who lie”
And just as she said that she smacked me hard across the face, making the pain a million times worse.

“Meg?” she called out.
I snapped out of it, my eyes starting to water. “Yeah, I was in the hospital and then I got put in a home for awhile; they put me back in that house so many times…”
“What did they do?”
“Exactly what it say in that book.” I hesitated. “They kept doing it, until one night my Aunt Julie and Uncle Todd happened to come over and see me bleeding all over the floor. They took me in and promised me that they wouldn‘t ever hurt me again, I was 11 years old…”
“Oh my god, Meg; I had no idea” she sympathetically replied.
My voice was faint, “No one did.” I stared down at the floor, I had hoped I would never have to talk about it again; I just wanted to put it behind and forget all about it but, I needed someone to talk to… I couldn’t deal with it by myself.
“Meg, I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s fine, I wanted to tell you anyway.” I stopped. “but promise me, you won’t leave me this time…”
She moved over and hugged me as tight as she could. “Meg, I love you.”
“I love you too.”
It was quiet after that, Rach just sat there holding me almost as tight as she could. I felt safe, I didn’t want her to let go; I’ve never felt so close to her, even when we were younger.