Oh hun, I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this. Only a few months ago I was in the same place. I was completely in love with a guy and thought he liked me too. I told him I liked him and he told me he was going out with someone (who I knew too) and that he's only ever seen me as a friend. It was the worst pain I'd ever felt in my life. I went through a whole process probably similar to a grieving process. I cried for ages. I felt hurt and angry, like I'd been lied to. I felt jealous towards the other girl. I hated myself, and eventually I hated him too.... but for me that was a good thing. I could finally let go of him and see that I'm better than him and I deserve better - I deserve someone who wants me too. And you know what I found him recently. (Okay that's gone a bit wrong too, but...) It's shown me that although at that point back then I thought my life was over, it really wasn't. Things do get better. There are people out there who will want you too.
Nothing I say will probably make you feel any better, but I hope it gives you a little hope knowing that I came out the other side, so I believe you will too. You just need to go through your own process and keep safe in the meantime.
You're not a failure just because he didn't want you. And you're certainly not a failure for cutting - these things happen. It's your way of coping at the moment. You just need to keep yourself safe and maybe learn some new coping methods. The only thing that could make you a "failure" (I don't like that word anyway) is if you let this destroy you. If you keep on fighting and telling yourself what a fantastic person you are, then you'll never be a failure.
Sorry I'm not that helpful but wanted to share my experience with you so you know you're not alone. I'm here if you ever wanna talk okay hun? Just drop me a PM anytime. Take care. * Huge hugs*
xxxx
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