[ThinkingofRecovery]

I've finally received the questionnaire from the psychotherapy place I am being referred to. I'm not sure about one of the questions though and wondered if perhaps you could review my suggested answer:

PRESENT PROBLEM: Please describe your problems and how they affect your current life.

I’m not entirely sure what you mean by “problems” but maybe the difficulties I am currently experiencing (and have done for some time) may qualify? I feel/think that in the past couple of years , I’ve gone from being a strong, capable, determined person with drive and ambition to just nothing, someone who needn’t be here. I wake up every morning feeling sick (and sometimes am), purely and simply because of the realisation that I am expected to face/fight another day. A day which requires me to fight to even get out of bed and out of the house to work – which I used to enjoy but no longer cope with. I don’t understand why it is that I am expected to fight, to live; even if I was happy, I don’t get why I should live. I do so, I suppose because society deems it wrong to commit suicide, to allow oneself peace. I have changed from a person willing to try anything (eg commanding artillery in the TA and moving across the world by myself to work in LA) to someone who feels scared/anxious at the everyday prospect of being around people. I hear voices/people speak to me – some are vivid memories, another one criticise and comments on me and one of them is my sister’ husband. At time, they can be overwhelming and incredibly scary. I fight the thoughts of suicide on what sometimes feels like a constant basis. I feel as though my head is so full of things, that I can’t seem to grasp hold of them, that it is too full, too noisy. It’s a fight to motivate myself, which was never a problem in the past. It sounds silly but I feel confused. I don’t understand where the other “me” went, why it did, if it was real or whether this excuse for a person is the reality. I feel at times, just incredibly sad and hurt for no reason and at other times, just empty, just nothing, devoid of any will to carry on and guilty because of society’ view on suicide. I’ve been absent from work for lengthy period this past year when previously I was extremely reliable. It’s as if that person has “upped and left”.


It all sounds a bit lame and I am not sure if they count as "problems". I've mentioned the self harm etc in the question after re how you cope with the problems.

What do you reckon?