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airwolf282 · 16-01-2009, 07:46 AM

You're right about something. She doesn't leave me for some reason. It could simply be that she doesn't want the guilt of knowing that walking away would mean certain death. I wouldn't in any way want her to feel guilty on purpose but without her support, I would have nowhere to go and would be doomed.

The bloody bank keeps harrassing us. Called us twice today, hassling us about the repayments when they know that the damn loan insurance they sold me (which they charged me $3000 for) is supposed to cover it. The problem is that the insurance is with a different organization and sometimes they don't make the payments on the exact precise day they're due so the bank blames us and hassles us for the money. No doubt my credit rating is absolutely ****ED. There is no way in hell I could ever borrow money or get a home loan because of the ****ing ******** bank because I probably would have a hundred defaults by now. So I will be renting for the rest of my life. What's going to happen with rents being always on the rise? How the hell are we going to managed to keep paying it if our pension payments stay the same? And if we are forced to move because the landlord wants to move in, renovate or sell we couldn't afford the bond on a new place. If you give me a choice between starving to death, being homeless and freezing to death come winter time or hanging myself from a rope I will take the third option any day.

And there's still the uncertainty of my wife's job. She still has to work on probation. They may do anything they won't and she has no legal rights now. They can cut her hours, make her work out of the area or **** her off completely and she doesn't have a leg to stand on.

I haven't picked up a blade for almost two months now but I so desperately want to hurt myself. Add that to the fact that I have OD'd since then so those two months don't really count anyway. I keep thinking to myself that I will probably feel better if I do hurt myself so why the hell am I not doing it? Maybe part of me thinks that this is supposed to be the year that things change, a turning point. Today I bought some stationery; A4 book, pens, pencils, etc and I am in the process of setting up a home office for my studies. A year ago I never would have believed that I would be doing that, although after the **** that keeps going on at the moment I think that all this is just going to elude me

Nathan

16-01-2009, 07:46 AM	#8
airwolf282 Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Australia I am currently:	You're right about something. She doesn't leave me for some reason. It could simply be that she doesn't want the guilt of knowing that walking away would mean certain death. I wouldn't in any way want her to feel guilty on purpose but without her support, I would have nowhere to go and would be doomed. The bloody bank keeps harrassing us. Called us twice today, hassling us about the repayments when they know that the damn loan insurance they sold me (which they charged me $3000 for) is supposed to cover it. The problem is that the insurance is with a different organization and sometimes they don't make the payments on the exact precise day they're due so the bank blames us and hassles us for the money. No doubt my credit rating is absolutely **ED. There is no way in hell I could ever borrow money or get a home loan because of the ing **** bank because I probably would have a hundred defaults by now. So I will be renting for the rest of my life. What's going to happen with rents being always on the rise? How the hell are we going to managed to keep paying it if our pension payments stay the same? And if we are forced to move because the landlord wants to move in, renovate or sell we couldn't afford the bond on a new place. If you give me a choice between starving to death, being homeless and freezing to death come winter time or hanging myself from a rope I will take the third option any day. And there's still the uncertainty of my wife's job. She still has to work on probation. They may do anything they won't and she has no legal rights now. They can cut her hours, make her work out of the area or her off completely and she doesn't have a leg to stand on. I haven't picked up a blade for almost two months now but I so desperately want to hurt myself. Add that to the fact that I have OD'd since then so those two months don't really count anyway. I keep thinking to myself that I will probably feel better if I do hurt myself so why the hell am I not doing it? Maybe part of me thinks that this is supposed to be the year that things change, a turning point. Today I bought some stationery; A4 book, pens, pencils, etc and I am in the process of setting up a home office for my studies. A year ago I never would have believed that I would be doing that, although after the ** that keeps going on at the moment I think that all this is just going to elude me Nathan Last edited by airwolf282 : 16-01-2009 at 08:15 AM.