Hey i think its really brave that your thinking about what would help you best right now and realise that you need help and things do sound pretty bad for you.
i can understand why you are worried and scared about asking cos your worried about the response and what that may in turn do to you/make you feel.
im a bit like that with asking for help too.
But your life and health does have to come first and if you are really really feeling at risk you need to speak out.
im also in the UK again unfortunately so cant advise much on Canada.
But from my personal experience i can say that ive had four previous psychiatric admissions though these were well over three or four years ago now.
These were never for more than a week and while small parts of them were helpful i also had some experiences which really were not!
i have been in and out of the system for years and currently still receive outpatient services [when the CMHT remember me!] but though at times previously i used to beg to be admitted i wouldnt do that anymore.
All of my admissions were voluntary though one i was told they would probably have to section me if i didnt agree to go cos they couldnt let me go how i was.
i have also had other situations/times where i have been threatened with sectioning/being detained but luckily none of these came to anything though were scary to go through.
i have also had [also at least a couple of years or so ago] admissions to various general hospitals and a poisions unit for taking overdoses.
These admissions lasted between being a couple of hours or overnight to being two weeks long.Spending a week and a half in a specialist poisons unit and then another half a week on a general ward when i was transferred between the two was my longest general hosp admission but i had taken a lot then.
The main reasons for me being admitted to a psych ward were generally cos i either had significantly overdosed or was planning to.And on one occasion had also written something like a suicide note.
Although there was also one time where i couldnt deal with a potentially very difficult and dangerous situation i had got myself into regarding another person and it was agreed between us that i would be admitted on this occasion so the authorities could hold a meeting to work out what to do as they felt they had a duty of care to me as a vulnerable adult [they say they classed me as this cos of my mental health problems and also i have another disability] to stop the situation [even if i was unsure what i felt i needed/could do about it at this time] and help me out of the situation i had just managed to get myself into.
Anyway im waffling a bit here and not doing very good at explaining so i am sorry.
Basically i think you really need to speak out if you are feeling really at risk.
And are probably likely to get better/more treatment and support that way.
It is important and i think people would be glad you were honest with them and spoke to them certainly before doing anything.
i dont think there are really rules about what is bad enough.
It seems to depend on your individual circumstances but also to be honest very much on those you work with and their views on your situation and the whole hospital/support thing too.
You really need to talk to those around you.
im sorry that this post has been long and probably not helped much but please keep posting and letting us know how you are if you feel upto it and if it helps you to do so.
Also feel free to PM me anytime.
Also please remember that if they do say no to hospital and you feel strongly about it you can still keep putting forward your case and arguing for it if it is what you feel you really need.And secondly also remember that even if they dont offer you hospital admission there may well be other [and perhaps better] things they could offer you which will help you more or still at least be of some extra support to you if they were put in place so you would still have gained from being honest and open with them.
i know its hard but i hope that you feel able to give talking to them a bit more a go.
Take care and good luck!
Be brave.
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