*offers hugs*
Please keep fighting, it wouldn't be better for everyone if you weren't here.
I think going to your GP would be wise.. you could tell them how you are scared about going on AD's and maybe they can try something else. But I think it would be wise to tell them what's going on so they can help you with the depression and suicidal thoughts [which I know are not fun and can be quite draining energy-wise and emotional-wise]
Take care!
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