Thanks, I'm glad you guys like it. I was pretty worried about posting it. I've done another chapter.
Chapter 2
At first he didn't say a word. He just stood there looking at my arm in shock for what seemed like hours on end. In reality it was probably more like a few seconds. I too didn't say anything. Even the best of lies wasn't going to work this time. My arm was literally covered in cuts and scars, not to mention my five cuts from not more than 10 minutes ago that were still bleeding.
"Babe what happened?" there was panic in his voice. "Who is doing this to you?" he demanded. I just stood there in shock. I had nothing to say. I was numb.
"We need to stop the bleeding. I'm going to put some pressure on your arm okay babe?" He opened the closet and pulled out a towel. I wanted to tell him not to use a white one because my parents would see the blood but I couldn't find my voice. He was pressing the towel against my cuts now.
"Please tell me what happened Sarah. I need to know." He was starting to pressure me again. I still couldn't answer. I couldn't say anything. "Babe please! I need you to talk to me! Please!" He started turning on the sink now. He took off the towel and gently put my arm under the water. It stung a little and the pain brought me a little bit of relief. The cuts started to bleed again as the newly formed scabs were washed away. He placed the towel on my arm again when he felt my arm had been suficently cleaned.
With one arm around my shoulders and the other still applying pressure to my arm, he escorted me to the couch. I felt sick to my stomach and was relieved to be sitting down now. I knew in a minute the interagation would start. I still didn't have any answers for him.
"Sarah...." He stopped. He was holding my arm and looking over it very carefully. Looking at each scar, mark, and cut. I felt so ashamed. I had never wanted him to know. I was going to have to tell him. He looked so worried.
"I'm sorry," I said. It was all I could choke out before I burst into tears. He instantly held me close.
"Don't worry babe, its going to be alright. You tell me who is doing this to you. I'm going to make everything better." He still doesn't get it. He can't understand why anyone would do this to themselves. For a few seconds I tried to think of someone else I could pin this on. Of course that was just going to make everything worse. And besides, my parents would know the truth. My mom had caught me not much more than a year ago when I had first started. It wasn't as bad back then, just a few cuts every few weeks. I had promised I wouldn't do it again, said I had just been experimenting. I was more careful now. Or at least I thought I had been.
"Babe you're covered in cuts. Oh sweetheart, I can't believe this. I love you," He was crying now and I felt even worse. "Please let me help you, please tell me who did this to you!"
"It was me." I said it so softly I could barely hear my own words.
"What do you mean?" He asked through sobs. "What do you mean it was you?"
I didn't know how to answer. I was so scared now. I didn't know how he was going to react. "It was me. I cut myself. I did this to me."
Before I could even see the look on his face his arms were around me. "Why would you do this to yourself? I don't understand. I can't understand this Sarah."
I didn't answer.
"I love you. I love you so much. You know that don't you?" His voice sounded weak.
"I do know that. Of course I know that."
His grip around me released and he pulled back to look at me some more. His eyes had so much worry and concern in them. I felt so guilty. He didn't deserve this. He's only 17, he can't handle issues like this. Before I knew it he was pulling up my other sleeve. I didn't try to stop him. There was no point in hiding anything now.
My other arm was much the same as my first one. Covered in cuts and scars. Barely enough room to add anything more to it. More tears rolled down his cheeks.
"I'm going to get you some help babe. We need to talk to someone about this." His voice was getting stronger now.
"No! Please....please, I can stop! Please Justin. You can't tell anyone! They will send me away. Please!" I begged.
"Sarah, this is crazy. You need help. You are cut up like a piece of meat here. You're telling me you did this to yourself. You..."
"I will stop! I promise I will. Just give me a chance." My voice desperate.
"I want to know everything Sarah. I'm not going to keep your secret unless I know you're safe. I need to see what you cut yourself with."
I knew he wasn't fooling around. He was pulling himself together as best he could now. I didn't know how I was supposed to reveal all my pain to him. He surely didn't know what he was asking of me. But somehow I found myself leading him upstairs to my room. My razors would still be lying on the bed, my brown box half open filled with all my supplies. He was going to see it all now.
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