No need to apologise! I'm not suprised it's hard - families can be very hostile places and it sounds like your in-laws are pretty messed up... I'm glad your husband helps, though, he sounds sweet.
You said in one of your posts that you haven't seen a doctor - I'm sure it's something you've thought of, but perhaps they could help? Or a counsellor?
Anyway, try to be kind to yourself, you're worth it
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